[Warning: This message may contain some negativity. I typed this in a moment of sadness and disappointment. I don’t wish to disparage any candidates, really, and this comment applies across the board. I also realize I jeopardize my standing as a Christian for not mentioning either Jim Wallis, Brian McClaren, Pat Robertson, or Jim Dobson--somebody is bound to feel jilted.]
It looks like the election is shaping up to be quite a downer. There’s a strong possibility we will end up with the worst possible candidates from each party. Just another disappointment in a string of events that makes me lose all hope for the greatness of this country. Can you hear the national anthem in the background . . . waning? I guess what bothers me is that the people who are passionate about making a difference--on either end of the political spectrum--don’t stand a chance. Voters view them with suspicion, so we normally end up with the “safe” candidate, who will ensure the status quo, or worse, continue to drive this train into the ground.
Listening to these candidates spew out their rhetoric is almost comical, if it weren’t really happening. They can literally talk for hours and say absolutely nothing substantive. It’s quite a skill. There’s no use in complaining, really. One can be active about making choices or passively complain that whatever has fallen into one’s lap is their fate.
So, I thought I could get on the ticket in a few years by following the cues of masters of this art. I’m trying to boil this down into a couple of easy steps, what I like to call, “How to garner votes among the masses.” So, without further adieu, my list:
1. Choose a vague platform attached to an intangible notion; for example, "change." If you choose a clever enough word, other candidates will latch on and claim they are the true [intangible notion] candidate.
2. Promise to "fix" all the key issues of the day; for example, "We're going to fix healthcare, global warming, racism, employment, and end this war in Iraq!"
3. Make no provisions on how you would fix any one of these issues which have been broken for years.
4. Don't tell anybody that by "fixing," you mean throwing a bunch of money at the problem.
5. Don't tell anybody the source of that unlimited font of cash.
6. Don't mention any issues that the other party finds key in implementing as ways of fixing your key issues, such as securing the border, stopping illegal immigration, reducing our reliance on foreign oil, reducing the tax burden, protecting the unborn, increasing the strength of the American military, establishing fair export laws, keeping jobs in the U.S., and much more. How can each party ignore every issue the other party is talking about? Why is Hillary a racist and Obama is sexist? Have these issues even been mentioned on the other side?
7. Draft Hollywood into the service of your campaign. Americans will believe anything a celebrity tells them, because they so pitifully stupid they can't recognized that a multi-millionaire Hollywood elite has about as much in common with the average voter as a life-long Washington politician. Both experience a drastically different world than the average voter.
8. At all costs, avoid your own voting record. Never talk about what you have done, but what you will do, even if it’s 180 degrees from what you’ve done in the past. Accuse your opponents of “negative attacks” when they remind voters of your actions.
9. Pander like you mean it. Promise healthcare to seniors, schooling to the young, more money to the middle class, subsidies to big business, welfare to the unemployed, continued funding to the U.N., deregulation to industry, increased protection to government workers, jobs for all citizens and citizens of other countries, funding to harvest embryos for their stem cells, utopia to environmentalists, family values to evangelicals. Nobody would think of putting two and two together . . .
11. Never mention that a strong national identity and defense makes any of this possible.
12. How many ways can you slice a dollar? Apparently, there’s enough to go around, without cutting programs or raising taxes . . .
But alas, it’s too late for 2008. I’ll go and pinch my nostrils closed as I cast my vote in November, voting, once again, for the better of two mediocre choices.
This comes from somebody who tells everybody else to stop blaming the President for their problems. I’m caught up in this and I realize that I want my candidate to win, and if not, I’ll blame all my problems on the next president. Ugh.
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*One candidate said he would fix global warming. I guess he can fix the weather, solar flares, and finally put an end to the cola wars.
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6 comments:
I actually did not catch a single drop of negativity in that post! :)
I've started to see the light... I think. Maybe not. But here's where I'm currently heading: As precinct captain (booyah!) last Tuesday, I opened the floor for people to stump for their candidates. Almost on cue, one older guy talked about Romney as the man who could be a moral compass for the country.
In the following days, I marinated on that and realized why that comment bothers me so much... the gov't is never going to be able to legislate morality. The kind of change needed to "turn the country around" will never come from the top. It comes from one on one relationships and local movements.
What the gov't can do is keep the playing field level. I get nervous when I hear candidates talk about free enterprise and privatization as the key to success. Capitalistic companies must be responsible to their bottom line first and foremost. And there are plenty of things that need to be/should be done that aren't going to create a pretty bottom line.
I am glad that Romney is out. His concession speech was priceless, [my paraphrase] "If they democrats win, we might as will give Al-Qaeda the keys to the white house." As long as he always has fear to use in his campaign, he'll always get a few votes. Ass.
Well, if you were in a Denver precinct, the older guy's cries fell on deaf ears. So, Romney got two votes in there instead of one (because you were swayed, right?).I agree that a President rarely makes a good pope. Or god. And it's silly to put that moral compass tag on a guy trying to be CEO of the country.
There are a few things a President can affect: war, fiscal policy, legislation by veto, and Federal court nominees. Since the Supreme Court has taken up the habit of legislation from the bench, appointees become important. Even with that, the nominee has to get past Kennedy or Santorum or [your least favorite senator here] during confirmation hearings, which I find particularly annoying.
But corporations shouldn't run this country. They weren't meant to, because, like you said, they have loyalty only to the bottom line--not to people, the environment, or moral standards. The party line is "I was never given a paycheck from a poor man." Sounds horrible, but on the other hand, the Federal government isn't much better as an organization, overall, and most people do not feel comfortable with government having their hands in too many facets of their lives. (Take for instance, the thought that the gov't may read private internet transmissions--people freak out.) So, I'd rather keep the gov't out of my life as much as possible (and commerce), but I'd really like it if corporations were held to some semblance of responsibility by the boards and shareholders. Pipe dream.
I liked having Romney in the race, because he was a conservative option. Now conservatives have no option at all, if they want to vote their convictions. There's always the option to compromise . . .
P.S. Glad you won the precinct captain vote. One more step on the way to city council, then, who knows!
McCain is probably more conservative than anyone gives him credit for. If he had different views on immigration and campaign finance (views of his I like), he'd be rated pretty conservative.
The American Conservative Union
Damn, you guys watch a lot of CNN. Anyone gonna watch Biggest Loser tonight?
. . . and tax cuts . . . and embryonic stem cell research . . .
He has some sketchy votes for a conservative to feel comfortable latching on to him.
I'm not saying he's Mister Conservative... (or Doctor Conservative... I have no idea how long he went to conservative school).
Maybe the pendulum has no choice but to swing left... but something that at least passes by the middle will be refreshing. This partisanship is only good for Karl Rove, James Carville, and all the cronies that make money off of a heavily divided country.
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