Renee and I went to Portland last spring. I’d like to share my itinerary and a few thoughts along the way. Please join me.
First stop was Woodburn for the Wooden Shoe Tulip Festival. While festive and pretty, the tulips were a bit shy, and we were about 8-10 days premature to see the acres and acres of blooming tulips of multiple variations. We ended up walking a little bit, taking some silly pictures, buying a gift for Doris, and having lots of fun breathing the cool and fresh air. That was probably the most delightful part for me: standing in the wide valley, a slight breeze blowing by, the imminent blossoming of millions of flowers a few short days away. It was like birth, only we experienced the contractions, not the actual birth. But the birth would have been fun . . .
As we were leaving the valley, we stumbled into Mt. Angel, a beautiful little German town surrounding an enormous cathedral, in the shadow of a large abbey on the hillside. It looked like a great place to take a silent retreat for a few days.
Next, back to Portland, where we checked in to our hotel RIGHT ON THE RIVER! My wife booked a beautiful room at the River Place hotel, which is right off the dock and next to that trail that runs for miles along the river. Really nice. After we unpacked, our stomachs told us it was time for dinner, so we trekked down to Salvador Molly’s for a multi-cultural culinary experience--and to try their Great Balls of Fire, which are locally world famous, and have appeared on The Travel Channel’s Man v. Food. To get on the wall, you have to eat five of these infernal orbs, so, just to be crazy, we ordered one to see how hot it really was. I’m not one prone to exaggeration, but seriously, this was probably one of the hottest things I’ve ever consumed. I burned. Just burned, from my lips all the way into my stomach, it warmed me for the rest of the evening.
The next morning, we went for a long walk along the river and over to the Market, which was fun . . . rainy and cold, but fun. We are finding that Portland has weather that makes people think of Seattle; in other words, when people think it’s really crappy and rainy in Seattle, they are really thinking about Portland. About halfway through this rainy day, we were wishing we were back home in Seattle. We spent the afternoon warming up in the hotel’s spa. That was fun, but like a St. Bernard, once I get hot, I am miserable, so I’m not the best spa companion.
Next, off to the 2009 NPC Vancouver Bodybuilding & Tanji Johnson Fitness Competition to see Renee’s trainer, Tanji, and watch some of the women Renee trains with compete in the figure competitions. It was quite entertaining. I can’t remember another occasion in which I felt skinny and fat simultaneously, but there I was, sitting in the fourth row, feeling both, watching the greased and ultra-tanned flexitudinous competitors parade across the stage for two hours.
I got over the fatness quickly following the show, when we drove back into town and found a little gem called Rogue Distillery & Public House, an Oregon tradition and quickly drowned my sorrow in the Kobe beef sampler platter, followed by the Kobe chili. That made it all better.
Sunday was a big day. We started it off by worshiping at the house of Voodoo Doughnut near the Burnside bridge, where, on a tip from both Anthony Bourdain and Timothy Pynes, we tried the Bacon Maple Bar offering sitting innocently behind the counter. A simple enough design: a raised elongated doughnut, topped by maple glaze, under two strips of bacon. It was exquisite, truly ingenious, and captured all the smell and taste of a pancake breakfast--all in a compact size that fits in the palm of your hand. The first bite was nearly as delicious as the last. I will return, Voodoo Doughnut . . . I will return, and I will ask you to put an “s” on the end of your name.
With the taste of maple still lingering, we made our way over to Powell’s City of Books, which is really the best book store in the US, or darn close: used and new books right on the same shelf--genius. It truly is a city, and we parted ways: Renee to cooking and babies, me to Literature, History, and Psychology. I found an awesome book on geometry, a used Portable Jung, and Yalom’s classic, “Love’s Executioner.” Renee found Anthony Bourdain’s debut, which she read aloud on the way home, Shakespeare’s Kitchen, and a Dorothy Parker reader.
Finally, we made our way out of town, with one last stop: a little breakfast joint temptingly named “Gravy.” OK, if you’re going to name your restaurant “Gravy,” you had better make room for me, because I want some, and I want it now. I mean, come on, it’s GRAVY! Naturally, we had to try a biscuit with gravy, and it was but in all honesty, I think I’ve had better in a small roadhouse off the highway in Stapleton, NE. But they did have an awesome beef and pepper hash, which turned in to three meals for my little sidekick (Renee) and me.
Back to Seattle for some sunshine! All-in-all, a great weekend.
